When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade
I have lived by this principle most of my life. Yes, I have been stressed, crying at times, but most likely able to get out of the situation pretty soon. I have tried to live by the principle-When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade It is important to figure out what lemons you have and how you can make lemonade out of it
While I don’t follow Sadhguru, I resonate a lot with one of his random videos that appeared on my Facebook feed. He said if you get upset when someone you dislike comes in front of you, that is your problem. You can never be happy in life then. Just their presence can throw you off and potentially that is what the other person wants too. You need to build resilience, a wall against negative thoughts that come to you. Happiness comes from within. Life is never fair- a bold, yet true statement
I have been unmarried as on date at almost 35 years (Lemon 1 as per society). I have been fired twice from my company, then finding a different role in the same company, being ready to be judged by others who know my story (another lemon, again as per society). Corporate life is never stable. It requires a lot of luck, people maneuvering to reach the top. You will have so many changes in managers- you need to gel well with all of them. Some of them are mature to differentiate style from performance, and some are not. Corporate life is also not a straight path- never taught enough in any of our schools. The term used is “ladder”, signifying one way climb to the top. In reality, it is a zig zag way to survive
Times are also different unlike our parents’ generation who had stable PSU jobs till retirement. My dad worked more than me, clocking 12-14 hours everyday even in a PSU kind of job. Life was never easy for him. However, there was no firing possible. The art was to make peace with stressful people and move out. For us, it is different. I have rarely seen people stay in stable jobs after age of 40-45. People start up, move to freelancing roles, retire early or take a so called backseat in non stressful jobs. Even India head of my company must be feeling hollow after their term ends if they don’t become Asia leads. There is no end to feeling bad. Peter’s principle felt right- In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. You are made to feel incompetent at any level you rise to!
I was naive when I joined workforce. I thought I will be the change when I become a manager, treating my team with care, protecting their personal life and what not. It took little time to get sucked into the whirlpool- I was like any of my other managers in no time. Every person has someone to report to at any level. You are never free, even if you start up. There are investors and board whom you are answerable to. I am not saying accountability is bad. It is undue stress on targets which I feel is not required in most jobs that are not life saving. I fondly remember a coworker who was denied leave at a FMCG company I was interning at. She boldly walked away saying no one will die if a few bottles of shampoo doesn’t get sold while she is away. It felt so true and I admired her guts to say that out loud
Corporate life taught me many things that my family taught me otherwise in personal situations
- Saying no- There is no end to work if you say yes all the time. I still struggle with this, but atleast have made a start
- Asking for help. You are always taught to be independent, self sufficient
- Moving out of my comfort zone as an introvert- Trying to understand what makes others tick
- You are not indispensable- Your replacement will be there in max 3 months. Do not die over your work
- Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I felt I am running all the day behind deadlines. Many of my batchmates slowly rose to top, which I think is more sustainable rather than trying to maximize salary in your early days of career and feeling burnt out later
- Work smart, not hard. I still don’t adhere to this fully, but atleast I am aware. Right from the age of 15, hardwork is something we are taught to put into to justify what we deserve. I have seen many people delegate beautifully, find leverage and invest behind figuring out how someone else can do it. Ultimately, the job needs to get done, it does not matter who did it
- Pushing back logically without hurting others. Obedience is not appreciated in corporate life. You are expected to put forth opposing point of views, debate and find the best answer
At this point, I frankly feel both ways- somewhat a failure for not having built a family and strong foundation at work. At the same time, I am proud of where I have reached. It takes courage to stay alone in a metro independently away from home for a single girl brought up in a Tier 2 town. Ot takes a lot to stick in a company for more than a decade
I try to make the best out of my situation. Not having kids means I can travel a lot more than my colleagues and friends (my version of lemonade). I take my parents with me- they are my best friends. It does raise eyebrows among colleagues, neighbours and extended family on how I am able to get so many leaves and splurge so much on travel. I don’t believe in stashing up wealth to leave it on deathbed. I believe in spending in on experiences that expand my horizon of thinking. I still live frugally while travelling, minimizing costs wherever possible by taking public transport, staying in low- mid range hotels. I of course want to fund my next trip faster
My shifts on professional side meant I can take breaks enough by not being on front line all the time. I earn much less than my counterparts, but I am ok with it. My minimalist living without interest in shopping/ partying/ hanging out with friends/ eating outside means all my earnings going only towards travel. My company proudly said they hire the best people in the world to make them feel average. It is this feeling that ones needs to overcome quickly to find contentment and happiness.
Happiness needs to come from within. My grandmom was a grey character- she had her positives and negatives. She adored me unconditionally, at the same time she was never contented with what she had, making her always miserable. I learnt a strong lesson that contentment comes from within. You can be contented with whatever you have. The poorest are sometimes the happiest, they have nothing to lose
There is a saying that if reality happens to be what you wished for, it is good, but it is better if it is different, since it would be what the Lord has wished for you. Maybe Lord has different plans for me, hopefully better than what I can imagine. Travel is lemonade for me. I am ready for more lemons and tasty lemonades!